Work, Hike, Garden, Ishan!!

Raj and I were talking this past weekend and day dreaming about California...he threw out an idea that all we will do in California is - work, hike, garden and hang out w/ ishan baba. Then he added the caveat that we will be taking Ishan hiking and have him gardening with us, so technically it could be 3 things. So this entry will be themed around that...

"Work"
As I have mentioned before, I am currently at the Core Center - an outpatient clinic that takes care of 6,000 HIV positive patients...basically the largest in the country. Also, after this month (which will end way too fast) I have 5 months left of residency. It has definitely been a journey...one that has spanned 2 states, lots of self-doubt, some scheduled and unscheduled breaks...and at the end of it all, I've learned what type of doctor I want to be. I still don't know exactly what I will be doing but I know the direction I am heading in which is a start. Which leads me back to "work." I am back at square 1 in terms of the job search but I can definitely see what type of setting I would want to work in. During this month, I have realized that I really do love taking care of the HIV patient population. It is an unfortunate epidemic and it is DEVASTATING how many young lives here and across the world are taken from this disease. Every effort at prevention and education is time well spent. That being said...there are about 34 million that are affected worldwide and about 1.2 million here in the U.S. The amazing thing is that the history of this disease has come such a long way. It was a death sentence at one point (and it still can be for those without the resources) but now it doesn't have to be. With the proper medications and follow up...people can live normal, healthy lives. I have realized I love learning all the things that are involved in taking care of an HIV patient. It is and has to be holistic in its approach because it affects every aspect of an individual's life. I love building trust with my patients (although that is needed regardless). I think it is a constant reminder at the disparities that exist in our current health care system and pushes me to bring to light all the social conditions that are so deeply connected to this disease. Addiction often goes hand in hand with this disease and it allows me continue to work on offering different options to people struggling w/ substance abuse. And in this day and age because of the medications, in a well controlled patient, people end up usually having lots more primary care issues then HIV issues. All in all, while I wish HIV didn't exist, it does and I have found something that I feel passionate about.

So as I start my job search...I am really hoping to find something that mixes primary care and HIV. I feel like I could get really engrossed in the patient care, the community and the continual learning that would need to take place (because there is so much to know!). I have seen some AMAZING doctors at the Core that really just give their all to their patients and make themselves so accessible. They have been with some people since the 90's. I want to be that and I hope I get the opportunity to try. If any of you have any contacts...please let me know - this would be for the Bay area.

Hike
 You all probably already know we love to hike. My love of nature has definitely grown since I've been with Raj and I could truly spend every weekend on a new hike. Being out in nature calms us, calms the brain and California has such awesome hiking!!!! So many different trails, so many different terrains. Our plan is every Saturday is going to be join Raj/Astha on a hike. Who's with us? Adding some pics of our latest hiking adventure - in Palos Hills.Yay for Bhavna for joining!














Garden
Too tired to type more but main points - year round gardening because the weather allows it!!!! How exciting. Yummy fruits and veggies from our own backyards and the yummy meals that come with it. Our garden thus far...

Ekatva

It is truly amazing to notice the difference in my mental state if I am not on a ridiculous month of residency. I finished the ICU on Thursday and I have been able to do SO much. Life had definitely been put on hold and I am thankful to live it fully again.

This past weekend was the Ekatva Oneness Show in Chicago. Raj and I have been trying to help out as much as our schedules allow it and it has been an awesome experience. A little background info...This past summer in Inspire, we met the kids of Ekatva during the trip. All the people in Inspire paired up with a kid and went to their homes in the slums of Amdhabad (I always spell it wrong so apologies in advance). I stayed with Dipmala and Raj stayed with Dharma ji. They lived in Shankar Bhavan and once we got there we found out that the government of Gujrat was kicking them out of their homes. It was crazy to think that these people that had been living their for years could get kicked out so easily. They were being offered places to move to but from what we learned along the way it seemed to be 1) very expensive 2) completely away from the lives that they had created for themselves. Despite the chaos that existed in these people's lives, they welcomed us with such warmth and love. The resilience of these kids and families is incredible. I know I left feeling infuriated at a system that values malls over people's livelihoods/existence, feeling a little powerless to the system, and knowing that my way of existence is connected to the injustices that exist.

At the time we were there, they were talking about doing a tour across the United States. Flash forward to now...they are here and it is actually happening. The first show was yesterday and it was phenomenal! Raj and I got involved in helping coordinate the logistics of them coming and helping spread the word. The Manav Sadhna family (the organization that has brought these kids here and works with the slum community in Amdhabad) is huge in Chicago. It is always a struggle to get involved with things outside of residency due to time constraints, but we both showed up when we could. I will say there was so much more that I could have done but that being said I feel blessed to be a part of the family. We got to meet so many new faces and with each meeting, there was a little bit more of a connection. Everyone had their own personal link to these kids and the energy was just so great. It was a reminder on the Manav Sadhna spirit and that we all have the potential to connect to any human being around us...it is just a matter of taking the time to do so. Seeing the kids again was a treat.

I've struggled a bit when describing what exactly I have been "promoting." I didn't want to label these kids as slum kids but part of the what catches people's attentions is that they are coming from the slums. We asked the kids what was happening in Shankar Bhavan and two of the kids homes were torn down. I want people to share this incredible experience that these kids have created and I truly believe in the message of oneness and love but I always wonder where will it all lead to? These kids are seeing "America" but will return to their own realities. Their families will still continue to live in the slums and what does that mean? I think the fact that the Manav Sadhna team is continuing to keep them grounded in their daily routines and connecting them to various organizations here is going to help them see the various realities of America as well. In the end I think I've realized that these kids internal experience has changed and will continue to change by being part of this group. They will be inspired and inspire those around them and the ripple effect will lead to unexpected connections. All the people that hear their stories will be affected and in turn carry their own message. It will inspire us to fight against the disparities that exist here and across the world. And if I get to be a part of that...I am thankful for the experience. I have been touched by these kids and hope that you guys will be too. They are still touring all over and need your support..please continue to help spread the word and come see their show. 

Some pictures of the show from yesterday...didn't take many            

An attempt to return to the blog!

Wow, it has been a very long time since I've posted. I am finally on a month that I can enjoy and breathe at the same time....hence an attempt to bring back the blog. I am really looking forward to this month and I have a lot planned for myself in my head.

I am going to be at the Core Center doing outpatient HIV stuff. I am also getting a chance to actually practice Suboxone induction - which is an alternative to methadone for people that are heroin/opioid addicted. I have my weekends off!!!! Which means lots of nature activities and long bike rides. Spanish class needs to come back...its been on hiatus because I was in the ICU. And cooking. And gardening. And exercise and being healthy again. Those are the goals for the month and I'll blog my progress :)

A few updates....Raj and I finally made a decision on our next steps...we are moving to California. Sad to be leaving family and friends here but excited to build deeper relationships with the people out in California. And of course the Dhinglu meister!!!

Some pictures from the garden...

Going to put another plug for the Ekatva show here...the show is this Sunday...truly an amazing story...buy your tickets now!

Spanish with Salas!

My next project is going to be diving into fully learning Spanish. I have taken Spanish all four years of high school and somehow the basics stuck. Then in medical school I had to use it and somehow I am able to communicate with my patients today without the use of a translator. My no means is my Spanish perfect. Actually it is probably disrespectful in I definitely never use the right tense but always start off by telling my patients that its not good Spanish. They are cute and they tell me its fine but that is just because they are sweet souls. BUT I want to get better. And I want to be able to express emotion well. While talking to an attending I worked with at the jail for future prospects...he told me I should look into enhancing my skills so I can use it for a future job. Then I started looking up classes and realized that Rush will pay 90% of the class. I am going with this guy named Christian Salas. I ended up convincing a co resident to take the class with me and we went to our first demo session today. Our first official lesson starts tomorrow! And then I go to Mexico for a week. So here is to a new adventure en una idioma nueva (a new language). We'll see how it goes.

And still no decision on our future life plans. We are confused souls.

What's next?

That is the question....

Astha told me to write this blog entry, so here it is.

What's next? Astha is finally done with her residency at the end of October... and so we're figuring out what our next steps are going to be. It's an exciting time, but also an anxiety-causing time. I think the anxiety is caused more by the fact that right now our life is stressful and not always fulfilling.

So, we sat yesterday and busted out the whiteboard (as you see).... listing the different 'ideas' we have of what to do next.... and what things we want to accomplish - 'priorities' - not listed in any order. After talking for a while... it was definitely nice to organize our thoughts... and to see that we have so many possibilities in front of us... but we still are figuring out what to do. We want to make the decision soon so we can start planning... looking for jobs... planning for India... whatever it is.

So, friends and family... what do you think? Obviously, the blog isn't the best medium to talk about this, but we thought if we'd put it out there... maybe that can lead to some convos.... and we can take in different perspectives.... so.. shoot us an email is you have some thoughts!

Inspire Reunion

This past weekend, Raj and I went to DC to meet a few folks from Inspire for our annual reunion. Well this is the 2nd one. There is so much to say about Inspire and the connections that have come from it. The biggest probably being I met my husband. And that it changed my life in so many ways. This retreat was so great seeing everyone. A bunch of people from my year were there - Anusha, Sneha. I love you two and it was SO GOOD catching up. Getting to spend time with Raj outside of our craziness was a blessing. And then to the rest of everyone that was there and that we got to visit - Aparna, Karthik, Bhavana, Rachit, Binny, Manks. It was a blur but so fun. And we got to talk with west coast people, Chaiti, Shane and others. We basically had a group therapy session on our current states in life. I will always be thankful to Inspire for connecting me to so many people that are willing to question their lives and ask what they want from it.

I've included a word cloud created from a post retreat email thread we had started to express gratitude for each other's company. Kind of cool. :)

What do you want from life? What makes you happy? What motivates you? All questions I think about a lot and get to explore as I go. Would love to hear from you as well.

Life Lesson: Accept the current situation without being compliant. Don't beat yourself up and it is all part of the journey. :)

Knitting Class 4

The blog is going to go under hiatus soon because I am going to be starting a month of HIV at Cook County. My life will generally be busier and all the fun things that I've gotten to do over these past two months are going to stop unfortunately. I need to prepare myself that hospital will be my main activity in life. It is always so hard to do because I look to these other things to feel somewhat of a decent/productive human being. But regardless, I think right now I just have the first day jitters of working in a new environment. I am looking forward to learning a lot this month so that is a plus.

Thought I would add a picture of my progress so far in knitting. I had missed a class last week because of the Inspire reunion so I went in and made it up on a Monday. Learned how to close in the hat, use some different needles and probably a bunch of other things. Met a bunch of cool people working on some really fun projects. Sweaters, mittens, socks..all sorts of things! :) Its only going to be one picture this time. The scarf is just longer. I started another project all by myself!! But that is a secret and can't show it until the time is right.

Life Lesson: Learn to accept small mistakes; they are insignificant in the bigger picture. (Or it could be a mistake that unravels your whole project...but that is besides the point!)