Activity #9 - Random Acts of Connecting.. yes, more.

Yes.. more... Random Acts of Connecting (I like using 'connecting' instead of kindness... because kindness can add this element of 'self-importance').

We're both in different environments and situations than we were the LAST time we did the random acts. Back then, you were in a much more free-flowing situation, while I was working (teaching)... this time, I'm in a more free-flowing situation, while you're working (doctoring). I think we'll both face new and different challenges this time around and it'll be interesting to see how we respond. Also, I feel like it'll be good for us both at this point to see things through a different lens again.

The deadline is on August 2. Get ready to open our eyes again!

Astha:
Ha ha i still beat you to the activity. Ok so I've decided while this is a good activity to do because it makes you keep your eyes open to the world around you...it is also frustrating because 1) it becomes a checklist kind of 2) you don't know what counts and what doesn't 3) and in all of this you lose the connection you had in sharing a doing an act of connection.

So the first act was completely natural and it felt the best. I actually got off work early and I was beaming happiness because the first month of residency, especially a hospital month, it is a rare opportunity to have. There have been many moments where I have been very low during July but this was a happy moment where I thought the world was a good place. (I sound depressed or something) Anyways...I was waiting for the elevator and I see this lady with a walker. I was asking her are you leaving the hospital...she's like yeah I was just admitted for a few days. I'm like are you getting a ride downstairs? She's like no I'm taking a bus. And then I'm like I have time in my head. And I asked her well I am just driving home, would you like a ride. She said yes and we went from there. As I said she had her walker and I didn't think to offer to pull up my car from the decent walk to the parking lot but she said if you don't mind I'll just wait for you to pull up. I helped her in and she guided me to her home. Everytime I have conversations with people from the Bronx, I am amazed at people's life stories. Hers was no different. I think Delores was her name. I have her address in the car. She started by telling me her hospital stay and the typical frustration that is relayed with the medical system. It is always so interesting to hear the patient's perspective on what they think is going on with their body and why they were admitted. There is always a gap in understanding and I usually attribute that to the medical team throwing far too much information at patients at once. Then she told me about her daughter and how she had AIDS, and her daughter had a daughter and thank God for the virus not being spread to her child. Then she told me that her daughter had been murdered. The way she said it and the fact that violence is such an ingrained part of the lives of people that live in the inner cities never ceases to shock me. I've come from such a sheltered life and it always amazes me the hardships people go through and yet still survive and push onwards. We shared that shit happens in life but you gotta keep trying to see the good and do what makes you happy. She wants her grandaughter to live with her but she lives with her son. There is a general mistrust of people...she said that she only got in the car because she knew I was Indian and her friend is Indian so she trusted me but no one gets in a car in New York these days. She told me the park that she sits at to distract her mind from thinking too much. At the end of it all we exchanged addresses. She did happen to ask me for $5 which left a negative impact on me because it became monetary and not just two human beings sharing but whatever. I would love to try and go back to see her and share a meal at some point but in that moment, I was able to connect with her and got just as much as I received.

The next distinct act although I don't kno if it really counts or not is I baked cookies with Rupali when she was here. There was no way I was going to eat all of them so I proceeded to share them. Initially I thought I would bring a few cookies to the social medicine people that lived in Monte. I gave some to Uchenna. But then we had our phone date and didn't end up doing that. The next day I went to clinic and brought the cookies there and offered it to the staff, the residents and the attendings. They all liked them :) The simple smile and the excitement from ooh cookies! It was fun.

Then finally, I think it is a bunch of small things. Being in a hospital full of people that are lost in the system there are always a million things that you could do to stop and help someone in their confusion. Often I don't because of the pure madness that is the hospital system. I do take the time to help my fellow interns or residents in anyway that I can. There have been times that I could have gone home earlier or just taken time to sit and do nothing but instead tried to see if anything could be done to get someone home sooner. Poor Zhenya on her first day of dayfloat, not having had any ward month prior was thrown into the madness that is day float and I just remembered the stress you feel...so I tried to help with the little things. I wrote one note for her, did some random tasks for her that is mostly busy work. Picked up her board so someone else could leave and she wouldn't have another set of patients. I tried another moment to use my meal card that I wasn't using to pay for someone else's food but that didn't work. And then I just got some strange looks too. And all in all I try to spread smiles and make the day a little less bleak for the people I interact with.

(I wish I had pictures but I don't)

Raj:

I'm cheating. I just wasn't able to get into this activity. I tried... a few things... but I just didn't gain any momentum. During the time of this activity, I was in a little rut.. summer.. I wasn't really seeing many people... etc... just wasn't able to inspire myself... excuses...