In the chaos of our lives we don't get to stop and just be. We want to try incorporating meditating into our daily lives to give us awareness throughout the day. The activity is to try and meditate 15-30 minutes a day for a week or so and see how it goes. Comments and thoughts on the experience.
Raj:
So, I wasn't able to meditate on Monday or Tuesday... but I started on Wednesday. Since then, I've meditated for 10-20 minutes every day except for Saturday. Here are some of the notes I jotted down after the meditation sessions
09/16
I had a pretty good meditation session... my alarm didn't go off, though... after a while, I knew the time was up... so I checked... I went about 6 minutes over... so total, I went for about 20 minutes. Lots of floating thoughts, but not stress-related worrying or anything. All just related to my life. They definitely were all over the place... well... mainly about basketball coaching, school, my general sickness, and Astha. I always end my sessions with the saying: "May all beings have peace and harmony. May all beings have love and compassion. May all beings have happiness and goodwill. May we all realize the unity. May I be able to share whatever happiness I have within me, with others..."
09/17
Today... for the first half of it... I was pretty much just thinking about the basketball practice and how I'm going to approach it. When I sat.. I didn't do anything to get me in THAT mode. So, I need to go back and do the countdown and visualization next time. But it's all good... the basketball thoughts came and went. Then I started observing the breath at the nose... and I observed that the moment my attention goes elsewhere is in between breaths.. after the exhale, but before the next inhale. That's the moment my attention leaves the breath and goes elsewhere. Knowing that, I guess I'm trying to more conscious during that moment. Final thought... it's really annoying that my cell phone alarm doesn't always work.
09/18
I didn't write.
09/19
I didn't meditate.
09/20
I meditated this morning, but I'm writing this in the evening. So, one thing I do sometimes when I meditate is at the beginning of the meditation, I will imagine myself at some spot in nature alone. Usually, it's a beach... and I hear, and see, and smell the beach. Then I take a step into the oean... symbolizing connecting with the entire existence.
So, I talked about this with Astha... now that we are partners in life... growing together... does my visualization include two people? Should it? Or is the spiritual journey an individual one?
So, twice this week.. I decided to start with a visualization... and without making a conscious decision one way or the other... both times, the visualization included both of us on that beach together.
This spiritual journey.. is one we walk together.
Astha:
Ok, finally getting to this. So I was not so successful in keeping up with the meditation. In the week that we were supposed to, I think I recall doing it 2-3 times. Prior to that I was meditating maybe a little more but have not been keeping it up. i know i have one email i wrote you after the meditation and i've pasted it below.
"hello my dear. so i'm going to email u my thoughts and we can gather them and put them on the blog. i did around 20 minutes today which is increased for me. lots of floating thoughts today. i feel like way too often i was just going through the day in my head and running a check list of my patients and stuff to do adn what i need to remember and i don't kno...a little frustrating. i opened eyes once to check time and i had 8 minutes left. i also switched positions to support my back once. i did note the rare moments that i just completely focused on the breath...it was nice. i felt the stomach going up and down with the breath, i felt the whole breath. it was peaceful. i think the bad prt about writing thoughts is that during the meditation i'm thinking of what thoughts am i thinking so i can make sure i remmeber when i write it down. so i don't kno if its hte best idea. but all in all good to stop and just breathe. i did the combination of the breaths and the gayatri mantra again."
all in all my thoughts on the meditation...its always a new process for me because i haven't really done it in the past. it takes a certain amount of discipline that i always seem to find an excuse for...in the morning, i want to sleep more, at the end of the day i'm too tired and i fall asleep during the meditation. when i do do it, it helps me stay calm. its a step back from the chaos to just be. especially right before call, i've noted that i react less to the physical/emotional stimuli that come throughout the day/night. i read your entry before i did another session once and i tried the visualization part...i pictured us by the tree with the beach in front where you proposed. it was nice. this process would be one of many things that i would like to make more routine.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Activity #9 - Random Acts of Connecting.. yes, more.
Yes.. more... Random Acts of Connecting (I like using 'connecting' instead of kindness... because kindness can add this element of 'self-importance').
We're both in different environments and situations than we were the LAST time we did the random acts. Back then, you were in a much more free-flowing situation, while I was working (teaching)... this time, I'm in a more free-flowing situation, while you're working (doctoring). I think we'll both face new and different challenges this time around and it'll be interesting to see how we respond. Also, I feel like it'll be good for us both at this point to see things through a different lens again.
The deadline is on August 2. Get ready to open our eyes again!
Astha:
Ha ha i still beat you to the activity. Ok so I've decided while this is a good activity to do because it makes you keep your eyes open to the world around you...it is also frustrating because 1) it becomes a checklist kind of 2) you don't know what counts and what doesn't 3) and in all of this you lose the connection you had in sharing a doing an act of connection.
So the first act was completely natural and it felt the best. I actually got off work early and I was beaming happiness because the first month of residency, especially a hospital month, it is a rare opportunity to have. There have been many moments where I have been very low during July but this was a happy moment where I thought the world was a good place. (I sound depressed or something) Anyways...I was waiting for the elevator and I see this lady with a walker. I was asking her are you leaving the hospital...she's like yeah I was just admitted for a few days. I'm like are you getting a ride downstairs? She's like no I'm taking a bus. And then I'm like I have time in my head. And I asked her well I am just driving home, would you like a ride. She said yes and we went from there. As I said she had her walker and I didn't think to offer to pull up my car from the decent walk to the parking lot but she said if you don't mind I'll just wait for you to pull up. I helped her in and she guided me to her home. Everytime I have conversations with people from the Bronx, I am amazed at people's life stories. Hers was no different. I think Delores was her name. I have her address in the car. She started by telling me her hospital stay and the typical frustration that is relayed with the medical system. It is always so interesting to hear the patient's perspective on what they think is going on with their body and why they were admitted. There is always a gap in understanding and I usually attribute that to the medical team throwing far too much information at patients at once. Then she told me about her daughter and how she had AIDS, and her daughter had a daughter and thank God for the virus not being spread to her child. Then she told me that her daughter had been murdered. The way she said it and the fact that violence is such an ingrained part of the lives of people that live in the inner cities never ceases to shock me. I've come from such a sheltered life and it always amazes me the hardships people go through and yet still survive and push onwards. We shared that shit happens in life but you gotta keep trying to see the good and do what makes you happy. She wants her grandaughter to live with her but she lives with her son. There is a general mistrust of people...she said that she only got in the car because she knew I was Indian and her friend is Indian so she trusted me but no one gets in a car in New York these days. She told me the park that she sits at to distract her mind from thinking too much. At the end of it all we exchanged addresses. She did happen to ask me for $5 which left a negative impact on me because it became monetary and not just two human beings sharing but whatever. I would love to try and go back to see her and share a meal at some point but in that moment, I was able to connect with her and got just as much as I received.
The next distinct act although I don't kno if it really counts or not is I baked cookies with Rupali when she was here. There was no way I was going to eat all of them so I proceeded to share them. Initially I thought I would bring a few cookies to the social medicine people that lived in Monte. I gave some to Uchenna. But then we had our phone date and didn't end up doing that. The next day I went to clinic and brought the cookies there and offered it to the staff, the residents and the attendings. They all liked them :) The simple smile and the excitement from ooh cookies! It was fun.
Then finally, I think it is a bunch of small things. Being in a hospital full of people that are lost in the system there are always a million things that you could do to stop and help someone in their confusion. Often I don't because of the pure madness that is the hospital system. I do take the time to help my fellow interns or residents in anyway that I can. There have been times that I could have gone home earlier or just taken time to sit and do nothing but instead tried to see if anything could be done to get someone home sooner. Poor Zhenya on her first day of dayfloat, not having had any ward month prior was thrown into the madness that is day float and I just remembered the stress you feel...so I tried to help with the little things. I wrote one note for her, did some random tasks for her that is mostly busy work. Picked up her board so someone else could leave and she wouldn't have another set of patients. I tried another moment to use my meal card that I wasn't using to pay for someone else's food but that didn't work. And then I just got some strange looks too. And all in all I try to spread smiles and make the day a little less bleak for the people I interact with.
(I wish I had pictures but I don't)
Raj:
I'm cheating. I just wasn't able to get into this activity. I tried... a few things... but I just didn't gain any momentum. During the time of this activity, I was in a little rut.. summer.. I wasn't really seeing many people... etc... just wasn't able to inspire myself... excuses...
We're both in different environments and situations than we were the LAST time we did the random acts. Back then, you were in a much more free-flowing situation, while I was working (teaching)... this time, I'm in a more free-flowing situation, while you're working (doctoring). I think we'll both face new and different challenges this time around and it'll be interesting to see how we respond. Also, I feel like it'll be good for us both at this point to see things through a different lens again.
The deadline is on August 2. Get ready to open our eyes again!
Astha:
Ha ha i still beat you to the activity. Ok so I've decided while this is a good activity to do because it makes you keep your eyes open to the world around you...it is also frustrating because 1) it becomes a checklist kind of 2) you don't know what counts and what doesn't 3) and in all of this you lose the connection you had in sharing a doing an act of connection.
So the first act was completely natural and it felt the best. I actually got off work early and I was beaming happiness because the first month of residency, especially a hospital month, it is a rare opportunity to have. There have been many moments where I have been very low during July but this was a happy moment where I thought the world was a good place. (I sound depressed or something) Anyways...I was waiting for the elevator and I see this lady with a walker. I was asking her are you leaving the hospital...she's like yeah I was just admitted for a few days. I'm like are you getting a ride downstairs? She's like no I'm taking a bus. And then I'm like I have time in my head. And I asked her well I am just driving home, would you like a ride. She said yes and we went from there. As I said she had her walker and I didn't think to offer to pull up my car from the decent walk to the parking lot but she said if you don't mind I'll just wait for you to pull up. I helped her in and she guided me to her home. Everytime I have conversations with people from the Bronx, I am amazed at people's life stories. Hers was no different. I think Delores was her name. I have her address in the car. She started by telling me her hospital stay and the typical frustration that is relayed with the medical system. It is always so interesting to hear the patient's perspective on what they think is going on with their body and why they were admitted. There is always a gap in understanding and I usually attribute that to the medical team throwing far too much information at patients at once. Then she told me about her daughter and how she had AIDS, and her daughter had a daughter and thank God for the virus not being spread to her child. Then she told me that her daughter had been murdered. The way she said it and the fact that violence is such an ingrained part of the lives of people that live in the inner cities never ceases to shock me. I've come from such a sheltered life and it always amazes me the hardships people go through and yet still survive and push onwards. We shared that shit happens in life but you gotta keep trying to see the good and do what makes you happy. She wants her grandaughter to live with her but she lives with her son. There is a general mistrust of people...she said that she only got in the car because she knew I was Indian and her friend is Indian so she trusted me but no one gets in a car in New York these days. She told me the park that she sits at to distract her mind from thinking too much. At the end of it all we exchanged addresses. She did happen to ask me for $5 which left a negative impact on me because it became monetary and not just two human beings sharing but whatever. I would love to try and go back to see her and share a meal at some point but in that moment, I was able to connect with her and got just as much as I received.
The next distinct act although I don't kno if it really counts or not is I baked cookies with Rupali when she was here. There was no way I was going to eat all of them so I proceeded to share them. Initially I thought I would bring a few cookies to the social medicine people that lived in Monte. I gave some to Uchenna. But then we had our phone date and didn't end up doing that. The next day I went to clinic and brought the cookies there and offered it to the staff, the residents and the attendings. They all liked them :) The simple smile and the excitement from ooh cookies! It was fun.
Then finally, I think it is a bunch of small things. Being in a hospital full of people that are lost in the system there are always a million things that you could do to stop and help someone in their confusion. Often I don't because of the pure madness that is the hospital system. I do take the time to help my fellow interns or residents in anyway that I can. There have been times that I could have gone home earlier or just taken time to sit and do nothing but instead tried to see if anything could be done to get someone home sooner. Poor Zhenya on her first day of dayfloat, not having had any ward month prior was thrown into the madness that is day float and I just remembered the stress you feel...so I tried to help with the little things. I wrote one note for her, did some random tasks for her that is mostly busy work. Picked up her board so someone else could leave and she wouldn't have another set of patients. I tried another moment to use my meal card that I wasn't using to pay for someone else's food but that didn't work. And then I just got some strange looks too. And all in all I try to spread smiles and make the day a little less bleak for the people I interact with.
(I wish I had pictures but I don't)
Raj:
I'm cheating. I just wasn't able to get into this activity. I tried... a few things... but I just didn't gain any momentum. During the time of this activity, I was in a little rut.. summer.. I wasn't really seeing many people... etc... just wasn't able to inspire myself... excuses...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Activity #8 - Our combined goals
Yes, I know you are behind on your posts but I am going ahead and posting the next activity. Sorry. Get on it! :) We've both discussed how some of these activities end up being way too long. So I'm keeping the next one another simple one. There was a scrapbook that was created to help keep our individual and combined goals in writing. The first page was a general page of our story. The second was a list of my goals with some artistic touches. This activity concerns the next page: figuring out what we see as our common goals for our lives. The task is to write out what you envision for our future and the goals you see us accomplishing together. Raj if you could take a picture of the scrapbook and post them, I think it would look cool. Ready...set...go! :)Astha's Goals In Life:
> Become a compassionate and competent physician who doesn't let the system win
> Become a compassionate and competent physician who doesn't let the system win
> Learn Kathak and relearn Bharatnatyam in India - ideally I want to stay at a place where all I do is dance for a few months of my life
> Take piano lessons again
> Take piano lessons again
> Learn Spanish
> Join Doctors Without Borders
> Become involved in the global health world and whatever that means
> Run a marathon again
> Spread joy
> Go to some part of Africa and understand the community there
> Live in another country for an extended period of time
> Learn to paint/sketch... real painting and not paint by numbers
> Learn photography?
> Go back to India - live, work, learn
Raj's Goals:
> With like-minded folks, start an equitable education initiative that is about harmonious living (with oneself, society, and nature) in U.S. or India
> Be happy
> Become an organic gardening expert and grow my own food in U.S. or India
> Go on a longish backpacking journey (hike and camp)
> Learn Table
> Dance!
> Fluency in Spanish, Hindi, Gujarati, and English
> Learn more yoga, praanayam, and natural health practices
> Feel connected with everyone and everything around me
> Live my principles while at the same time, always exploring, sharing, listening, redefining, understanding, innovating, and growing
> Walking journey in India with little or no money per day
> Walking journey in India with little or no money per day
> Journey across the U.S.
> Struggle for those that are oppressed
> Continue working with young South Asian-Americans
> Inspire and be inspired
Combined Vision:
So we talked about this (this is Astha...and Raju you are failing miserably at this blog) and I don't know we couldn't really figure out specific goals that we wanted to accomplish together. I think we both agreed its not about checking something off a list but more about the process of going through it together. The overall theme goes along with the theme of this blog. I think we would both like to live a life that continues to push us to grow and learn on a daily basis. We would like to be part of the community that we live in and strongly integrated in what takes place there. We want to live simple, sustainable lives. We want to raise a family :) That one is definite. Well all of them are definite but babies make me happy. We want to teach our kids good values and then watch them as they battle us like we battled and are still battling our parents. (I know raj u probably wont' like the word choice of battle) We would like to live in India at some point together. I think those are the basics. You can add whatever I've missed. And as I look at this in the midst of the hellish intern year...I smile...we have so much to look forward to. This is just the beginning :)Monday, May 25, 2009
Activity #7 - Plant Something
Activity #7 (I know.. I still have to post my experiences from Activity #6.. I did the activity on time, but have been extremely late with the posting! My bad!)
Anyways.. back to Activity #7. Plain and simple... let's replenish the Earth that we are constantly damaging by planting something that grows.
Being environmentally-conscious has two aspects to it (well... it has a lot more as well, but two that I'll mention)... 1) Being more conscious about what we are consuming and HOW much we are consuming... and 2) Replenishing the Earth. Often... "being green" only means being more conscious about the products we buy, and using less. However, as human beings, we also have the ability to REPAIR... to REPLENISH the Earth to a richer state. Our relatioship with nature does not have to be a one way relationship... it can and naturally is a two-way mutually-beneficial relationship.
So, this week's activity is simple... plant something that grows. It can be flowers... it can be a vegetable plant... it can be a tree. The only rule is that you can't do it alone... at least 1 other person has to be involved in the process (getting the plant, planting it, taking care of it, etc.).
Enjoy!
Astha:
I planted flowers with my daddy :) Germaniums to be more specific. They were pre-potted. My dad used a little bit of fertilizer in some pots and organic soil. We left for vacation right after so haven't really been watering them or taking care of them. I thought about watering them today but it has just rained. Below are the pictures.
I planted flowers with my daddy :) Germaniums to be more specific. They were pre-potted. My dad used a little bit of fertilizer in some pots and organic soil. We left for vacation right after so haven't really been watering them or taking care of them. I thought about watering them today but it has just rained. Below are the pictures.
Raj:
Every other week.. I've been taking my students out to the garden with the garden teacher. At the beginning... we would try to make up an activity.. but after the first couple times... we just started working in the garden. I love it. Everything in school doesn't HAVE to have pre-set objectives.... that doesn't mean that they are NOT learning... it just means that THEY'RE in control over what they're learning... and not ME... I like it better that way.
Anyways... we went to the garden... and usually.. I'm in the back... with the "woodchippers". Some of the kids shovel woodchips into the wheelbarrows, roll out the wheelbarrows to the garden, dump the woodchips, so another group of students can spread them to make the path that goes through the garden. After we were done, and most of the kids were playing for recess.... Nelzy still wanted to plant some plants. So, we got a "Gourd" plant.... and together... we planted three plants. It was great... digging the hole... squeezing the potted plant out... planting the plant... putting the soil back... adding some compost around it.. and watering it. Also, at that point... I hadn't bonded with Nelzy in a long time.... my relationship with her, in class, has always been a tumultous one. She just doesn't like the class environment, but I used to have great one-on-one time with her in the after-school program.... but since I hadn't been staying after-school that long... that was missing. So... this time spent... was awesome!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Activity #6 - 5 Random Acts of Kindness
Wow we're on activity #6. Not bad, not bad. Hopefully we keep this up. So I had lots of ideas for this next one but I ended up deciding on doing 5 random acts of kindness because of a daily good article. Long story short...this guy in Pittsburgh decides to allocate a weekend to helping 5 random people in Chicago. He creates a youtube video of it and all he asks in return is to pay it forward. I absolutely LOVE things like this. Completely strengthens my belief in humanity and shows me that goodness totally exists. I know you also are familiar with this concept with the smile cards and charity focus stuff.
So our task is to do something similar. Time is usually the restraining factor so I don't expect you to drive to a random city but put yourself in 5 situations that you could be of service to a random stranger. I'm tempted to do a local craigslist thing and see what comes up.
-I want to know what you did
-How you went about choosing what to do...the thought process involved
-And the reactions you got from people
Ready...set...go! I'm excited about this one :)
Astha:
Ok so this was definitely an interesting activity...many things tried...many things learned. Not going to really follow the exact format above. I guess I'll start with the process and thoughts that went through my head to do this activity and then go on with the actual things I ended up doing and the reactions from those. I had some ideas on various things I could do but I also thought the thing the Pittsburgh Good Samaritan was really cool. So initially, I tried what he did. I put up a craigslist ad saying:
Hello people.
So I was inspired to do this after I read this article: http://www.windycitizen.com/print/6994
Like the Pittsburgh Samaritan, I have time on my hands and would like to reach out and help someone in need, be it big or small. I don't have any money to offer but I have time, a good work ethic, a car, and a good heart. I am mostly free these days to help anyone in need. I can help you with your gardening, getting groceries, giving you a ride, cleaning, cooking, running errands, etc.
I am not asking anything for myself but do ask to pay it forward if possible to the next person in need.
Finally, I am NOT going to help anyone with any sexual favors so please spare me the spam. And if you think this is crazy and don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it at all.
Look forward to hearing from you all.
Wasn't as successful as I thought it would be but I was touched by the few responses I did get. One lady forwarded me a message from someone asking for furniture to furnish their home. I attempted to email her but she never responded. Another said she had been in contact with the Pittsburgh guy and was wondering if I could help her buy a front door and storm door and install it...couldn't do that at this time but offered other help but then no response again. And then finally I got a response from a girl saying that the post helps her believe in humanity because she normally doesn't trust people and sent me some words of advice to be careful. She is an aspiring teacher to be and I exchanged a few emails with her back and forth. She had said that it sucks to hear the news everyday with people doing horrible things to each other and I told her about the daily good emails. All in all exchanged some thoughts with random strangers and it was good to see that there is a lot more that is in common than different.
Now for the actual acts...
The Random Acts of Kindness:
1) Wrote out thank you cards to Anna and Kate...two people that have been sending me forms for my upcoming intern year. They have been very helpful in making it a smooth transition and I just wrote out thank you cards expressing gratitude for their quick responses to my questions and that I look forward to meeting them. Kate actually helped start the conversation between another resident that has allowed me to buy all the furniture for my apartment, get that apartment (meaning I don't have to move furniture) and move in early so the gap between when the lease officially starts and when I get there is no longer an issue. So for that I am very very thankful...and you are too because it saves you hassle. :)
2) I wrote out two more thank you cards with $5 Starbuck's coffee gift cards to the two Martha's that gave me my chocolate chip scone or muffin over the past four years at Rush. I've watched them serve the coffee that the hospital runs on, always with a smile and always super nice. I found out their names after I gave them the cards but just expressed gratitude for serving people the food/coffee that jump starts their day. Initially, I didn't know if both of them would be there so I wrote out one card and then sat down to write the other. When I gave the second one, they both came up to talk to me and it made my day. It was such a warm exchange between us...they were touched by the gesture and I was touched by their warmth once again. They asked me when I was moving, that I should visit before I leave, that I should be careful in NYC...just soooo nurturing. I left with a smile :)
3) This next one was shared with Sonz and it made it all the more special and meaningful. I had been thinking about it for a while...that whenever I drive, I see people waiting for the bus and in the rain especially, I'd always wanted to be open to stopping and offering someone a ride. A simple gesture...I have a car, they need to be somewhere. But there was this slight hesitation which bothered me but it is what it is. The hesitation that will I be safe...will this stranger feel comfortable in stepping into a stranger's car (isn't it one of those things that you are always taught..don't get into someone's car)...are they going to think I'm completely crazy..the usual hesitations. Despite this, I still wanted to try but hadn't done it. The day I hung out with Sonz, it happened to be raining and we still had some time. I threw out the idea to her and she was open to going around to ask people. I felt so much more at ease with her in there and was so excited to see what happened. We pulled over at multiple bus stops. We only got one taker...a lady named Lisa? (I'm forgetting now) who had to go a few blocks down the street. The few words we exchanged made both Sonz and I so happy...she said that "no one stops by for anyone anymore...you girls have just helped restore my faith in humanity...be safe...take care." The fact that she trusted us, we trusted her, the simplicity of it all and the instant connection both ways. It made me so happy. The rest were rejections and interesting to see their reactions and ours. A lot of hesitation, confusion, some laughter that what the hell are these girls doing, and from us we were sad for having good intentions but people not trusting us. I know how excited I was to tell you after. And how grateful I was to share the experience with Sonz. If you're reading Sonz, I will always remember that day :)
4) Farah and I were roaming NYC and walked past a guy with a sign saying he was homeless and hungry. I told Farah to remind me to buy some food on the way back. I remembered you at this moment...how you are always much more willing to share food than money. I bought a hot dog, sat down (he was sitting on the ground), forgot his name also, and gave him the food. He said God Bless You and we went on.
5)Finally, this one was also in NYC. We had bought an all day pass for the subway and still had a bunch of hours left. I asked Farah for hers too and then gave the two cards to two people that were standing in line to purchase subway tickets. One lady was ready to hand me two dollars and I told her no charge and she smiled. The other one needed to buy a two day pass and was a little confused by the offer but I still gave it to her. I'm not sure of Farah's reaction to both acts but it was good to get more comfortable doing these things with other people around.
All in all, this activity taught me a lot. I didn't enjoy having to have a timeline because the whole randomness of the act kind of goes away. Definitely made me more aware to the world around me and that is still carrying over. Just noticing people around us...something that I think we often forget to do because we're so caught up in ourselves. I think we both agree that we want to reach a point where these acts come naturally and happen regularly. And getting to come back and share the events with you...knowing you'll understand :)
Raj:
As you know... I've been terrible about doing these posts. I love doing the activities, but we end up sharing everything with each other.. so I lose motivation for actually writing the post. I think that we should really start opening it up and sharing it with others.... because I feel like that would give me the added motivation to do these.
When I first started this activity... I kept a running log... soo, I do have some details....
Doing random acts of kindness is always a strange thing. Because ideally... they should come completely naturally, and I feel kinda weird when I have to "force" them, or I'm doing them for an activity. HOWEVER... I'm not there. I don't always view the world and my daily life with that outlook, so I need activities like these to "force" me to do them... soo, hopefully, one day, they do become just a natural part of my being.
Here they are... in no particular order:
1) Giving Water
I drove home from work one day... and there were two men outside my house. They were in suits, and right away I knew they some sort of Christians.. spreading the word of God and all that... you know? As soon as I got out of my car.. they were walking by and I greeted them. After having solid conversation for a while outside.... about heaven/hell, spirituality, Jesus, happiness, etc... you know.. everyday conversations... it was a hot day.... soo, as soon as they were saying bye and were about to get on their way.... I asked if they wanted to come in and have some water. They took me up on the offer... and so they came in.
We continued conversing about teaching, etc... they had their water and then they were on their way.
While all of this was happenning... I didn't think about the "R.A.o.K." but afterwards.. I decided to count it as one of my five.
In many ways... this was it... I didn't have to consciously think about it... but for some reason, at that moment.. I was in a state of being where this came completely naturally.... to talk to them, to connect with them, to offer them water. I would love to always be in that state of being, but for some reason, I am not.
What else could have happened in that scenario? I'd come home.. feeling tired and maybe a little stressed, so I would see the two people.. try to avoid them so I wouldn't have to talk to them.. avoid eye contact... and hurry inside. If they tried to talk to me? Tell them that I'm busy and to come back another time.
2) Sweeping the Classroom
Going into school on Monday, I decided that I would try to do one RAoK per day. And ideally, I didn't want to pre-plan them.. I just wanted things to come up spontaneously.
So, during the actual school day, the RAoK definitely passed my mind... any time I'd be walking in the hallway and I'd be seeing people do their jobs (secretary, other teachers, principal, etc.), I would think, "How can I do something for them?"...But what usually went through my head with it... was, "How can I do a RAoK!? I am so swamped right now!? I have to make sure that Sergio isn't acting out, that Francis is okay, that Nelzy is learning, etc." Even when the school day ended.. I was in a good mood, but definitely swamped with work. Finally.. I saw you online and I wrote that line: "dude.... finding a random act of kindness... just during the day.. is ridiculously difficult.."
Right when I sent that... I looked at the mess in my room, and went to go look for the custodian.. well, more specifically, went to look for her broom. I found her broom, but didn't find her. I took the broom and left a note there on a post-it "I took the broom upstairs. - Raj". Then, I went up and swept my room, and returned the broom... the note was still there, so I don't think she saw it. So, I returned the broom, took the note back, and returned to my room. The whole thing took me about 20 minutes... I don't think the custodian saw the note. Later on, she came to my room to do the clean-up, and I was still working there... she saw the room and was like, "Oh, you had the kids clean the room?" And I just said, "Yeah." So.. she said, "That's great.. then I can mop today."
Usually, she only sweeps... and mops very rarely... but... she couldn't handle having less work to do.... and so she brought in the mop. In the end, I didn't really save her work then.... but I definitely connected with her.
3) Paying the Toll
I was headed to my sister's place in SF on Tuesday.... and when I crossed the bridge... I paid the toll for the car behind me. I've done it many times before... and basically on this day (Tuesday), I realized that I hadn't done my RAoK for the day... and this was an 'easy' way to do one.
I do like this act... because I'm sure it makes the person in that car think... I'm sure that the ripples must be felt somewhere else... and it is totally anonymous... I never see the reaction on the other's face so I'm not doing it for the personal satisfaction... I'm just doing.
4) Homeless Meal
It was Wednesday.. and I was driving home from school. Still, throughout the day... I had this feeling of... "gotta do a RAoK, gotta do a RAoK".... but... during the school day.. it's just really overwhelming with so many things on the mind. That's one thing I've definitely realized... that I need a clear, still mind to be able to see and do RAoK. I can be actively busy... but I can't be mentally busy.. mentally worried... then... other things always take precedent.
So... driving home... I take the exit... and while I'm stopped at the light, I see a homeless man with a sign "Hungry, please help" or something like that... and I'm thinking, "Oh... RAoK"... BUT, I was in the lane that goes straight, and he was next to the left turn lane. I went straight, made a U-Turn, got back on the freeway, turned around again, took the exit again, and got in the left turn lane. I was about the 4th car at the red light.. the light turned green, I pulled up the man, and tried to pull the side... I stopped there... and the guy approached me... as the cars honked behind me.. I asked him if he was hungry and wanted to grab a meal. He seemed a little surprised, but said yes.... I told him to get in the back seat and that we'd go to subway. And he got in.
We started having conversation.. starting with small talk... where he stayed, etc. After a couple minutes, I already felt connected to him... I asked, "How did you become homeless? Are you homeless by choice?"
And this lead to one of the most amazing, unexpected conversations that I've had... from spirituality, to Krishnamurti, to wasting food, to utilizing resources, to gratefulness, to Karma Yoga, to living simply, to damaging the Earth, to freedom..... it was really amazing. Finally, when we were done... I said, I want to give you my number, in case you ever want to talk or need anything. Neither of us had paper and pen, so we went back to the car... I gave him my number. I asked him if he wanted to be dropped off anywhere... he said he was fine there. We hugged and parted ways.
It was unbelievable... and really at that moment... I felt, "Wow.. how many of these opportunities must I pass up on a daily basis? Each person I cross is an opportunity..."
5) Apple and "Everyday I get to Change the World"
On Thursday, I ended up not directly doing anything... but after school... I bought about 30 apples and wrote up the following note....
On one side in large letters so people could hang it up somewhere:
"Everyday, I get up to change the world."
On the other side:
" "Hm.. I thought I had the file but I can't find it. Basically, the other side said something like, "Thank you for the amazing job you do at this school. Every action you take is for these students and make their lives better." But it was a bit longer and more eloquent.
I got to school early... and anonymously left one apple and one note in EACH staff members' box. It was fun during the day to see staff members eating their apple.... to see the secretary put up the sign "Everyday, I Get Up to Change the World" in the office for everyone to see as they walk in."
The best was... days and even weeks later... I would walk into another classroom, and I would see the sign posted on the whiteboard.. seeming like it was talked about in class.... I would see the sign posted teacher's desk.... in an administrator's office..... And, I think... these small acts... these small creative acts... that don't take much effort... no one can tell where the ripples end... if the ripples end.....
So our task is to do something similar. Time is usually the restraining factor so I don't expect you to drive to a random city but put yourself in 5 situations that you could be of service to a random stranger. I'm tempted to do a local craigslist thing and see what comes up.
-I want to know what you did
-How you went about choosing what to do...the thought process involved
-And the reactions you got from people
Ready...set...go! I'm excited about this one :)
Astha:
Ok so this was definitely an interesting activity...many things tried...many things learned. Not going to really follow the exact format above. I guess I'll start with the process and thoughts that went through my head to do this activity and then go on with the actual things I ended up doing and the reactions from those. I had some ideas on various things I could do but I also thought the thing the Pittsburgh Good Samaritan was really cool. So initially, I tried what he did. I put up a craigslist ad saying:
Hello people.
So I was inspired to do this after I read this article: http://www.windycitizen.com/print/6994
Like the Pittsburgh Samaritan, I have time on my hands and would like to reach out and help someone in need, be it big or small. I don't have any money to offer but I have time, a good work ethic, a car, and a good heart. I am mostly free these days to help anyone in need. I can help you with your gardening, getting groceries, giving you a ride, cleaning, cooking, running errands, etc.
I am not asking anything for myself but do ask to pay it forward if possible to the next person in need.
Finally, I am NOT going to help anyone with any sexual favors so please spare me the spam. And if you think this is crazy and don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it at all.
Look forward to hearing from you all.
Wasn't as successful as I thought it would be but I was touched by the few responses I did get. One lady forwarded me a message from someone asking for furniture to furnish their home. I attempted to email her but she never responded. Another said she had been in contact with the Pittsburgh guy and was wondering if I could help her buy a front door and storm door and install it...couldn't do that at this time but offered other help but then no response again. And then finally I got a response from a girl saying that the post helps her believe in humanity because she normally doesn't trust people and sent me some words of advice to be careful. She is an aspiring teacher to be and I exchanged a few emails with her back and forth. She had said that it sucks to hear the news everyday with people doing horrible things to each other and I told her about the daily good emails. All in all exchanged some thoughts with random strangers and it was good to see that there is a lot more that is in common than different.
Now for the actual acts...
The Random Acts of Kindness:
1) Wrote out thank you cards to Anna and Kate...two people that have been sending me forms for my upcoming intern year. They have been very helpful in making it a smooth transition and I just wrote out thank you cards expressing gratitude for their quick responses to my questions and that I look forward to meeting them. Kate actually helped start the conversation between another resident that has allowed me to buy all the furniture for my apartment, get that apartment (meaning I don't have to move furniture) and move in early so the gap between when the lease officially starts and when I get there is no longer an issue. So for that I am very very thankful...and you are too because it saves you hassle. :)
2) I wrote out two more thank you cards with $5 Starbuck's coffee gift cards to the two Martha's that gave me my chocolate chip scone or muffin over the past four years at Rush. I've watched them serve the coffee that the hospital runs on, always with a smile and always super nice. I found out their names after I gave them the cards but just expressed gratitude for serving people the food/coffee that jump starts their day. Initially, I didn't know if both of them would be there so I wrote out one card and then sat down to write the other. When I gave the second one, they both came up to talk to me and it made my day. It was such a warm exchange between us...they were touched by the gesture and I was touched by their warmth once again. They asked me when I was moving, that I should visit before I leave, that I should be careful in NYC...just soooo nurturing. I left with a smile :)
3) This next one was shared with Sonz and it made it all the more special and meaningful. I had been thinking about it for a while...that whenever I drive, I see people waiting for the bus and in the rain especially, I'd always wanted to be open to stopping and offering someone a ride. A simple gesture...I have a car, they need to be somewhere. But there was this slight hesitation which bothered me but it is what it is. The hesitation that will I be safe...will this stranger feel comfortable in stepping into a stranger's car (isn't it one of those things that you are always taught..don't get into someone's car)...are they going to think I'm completely crazy..the usual hesitations. Despite this, I still wanted to try but hadn't done it. The day I hung out with Sonz, it happened to be raining and we still had some time. I threw out the idea to her and she was open to going around to ask people. I felt so much more at ease with her in there and was so excited to see what happened. We pulled over at multiple bus stops. We only got one taker...a lady named Lisa? (I'm forgetting now) who had to go a few blocks down the street. The few words we exchanged made both Sonz and I so happy...she said that "no one stops by for anyone anymore...you girls have just helped restore my faith in humanity...be safe...take care." The fact that she trusted us, we trusted her, the simplicity of it all and the instant connection both ways. It made me so happy. The rest were rejections and interesting to see their reactions and ours. A lot of hesitation, confusion, some laughter that what the hell are these girls doing, and from us we were sad for having good intentions but people not trusting us. I know how excited I was to tell you after. And how grateful I was to share the experience with Sonz. If you're reading Sonz, I will always remember that day :)
4) Farah and I were roaming NYC and walked past a guy with a sign saying he was homeless and hungry. I told Farah to remind me to buy some food on the way back. I remembered you at this moment...how you are always much more willing to share food than money. I bought a hot dog, sat down (he was sitting on the ground), forgot his name also, and gave him the food. He said God Bless You and we went on.
5)Finally, this one was also in NYC. We had bought an all day pass for the subway and still had a bunch of hours left. I asked Farah for hers too and then gave the two cards to two people that were standing in line to purchase subway tickets. One lady was ready to hand me two dollars and I told her no charge and she smiled. The other one needed to buy a two day pass and was a little confused by the offer but I still gave it to her. I'm not sure of Farah's reaction to both acts but it was good to get more comfortable doing these things with other people around.
All in all, this activity taught me a lot. I didn't enjoy having to have a timeline because the whole randomness of the act kind of goes away. Definitely made me more aware to the world around me and that is still carrying over. Just noticing people around us...something that I think we often forget to do because we're so caught up in ourselves. I think we both agree that we want to reach a point where these acts come naturally and happen regularly. And getting to come back and share the events with you...knowing you'll understand :)
Raj:
As you know... I've been terrible about doing these posts. I love doing the activities, but we end up sharing everything with each other.. so I lose motivation for actually writing the post. I think that we should really start opening it up and sharing it with others.... because I feel like that would give me the added motivation to do these.
When I first started this activity... I kept a running log... soo, I do have some details....
Doing random acts of kindness is always a strange thing. Because ideally... they should come completely naturally, and I feel kinda weird when I have to "force" them, or I'm doing them for an activity. HOWEVER... I'm not there. I don't always view the world and my daily life with that outlook, so I need activities like these to "force" me to do them... soo, hopefully, one day, they do become just a natural part of my being.
Here they are... in no particular order:
1) Giving Water
I drove home from work one day... and there were two men outside my house. They were in suits, and right away I knew they some sort of Christians.. spreading the word of God and all that... you know? As soon as I got out of my car.. they were walking by and I greeted them. After having solid conversation for a while outside.... about heaven/hell, spirituality, Jesus, happiness, etc... you know.. everyday conversations... it was a hot day.... soo, as soon as they were saying bye and were about to get on their way.... I asked if they wanted to come in and have some water. They took me up on the offer... and so they came in.
We continued conversing about teaching, etc... they had their water and then they were on their way.
While all of this was happenning... I didn't think about the "R.A.o.K." but afterwards.. I decided to count it as one of my five.
In many ways... this was it... I didn't have to consciously think about it... but for some reason, at that moment.. I was in a state of being where this came completely naturally.... to talk to them, to connect with them, to offer them water. I would love to always be in that state of being, but for some reason, I am not.
What else could have happened in that scenario? I'd come home.. feeling tired and maybe a little stressed, so I would see the two people.. try to avoid them so I wouldn't have to talk to them.. avoid eye contact... and hurry inside. If they tried to talk to me? Tell them that I'm busy and to come back another time.
2) Sweeping the Classroom
Going into school on Monday, I decided that I would try to do one RAoK per day. And ideally, I didn't want to pre-plan them.. I just wanted things to come up spontaneously.
So, during the actual school day, the RAoK definitely passed my mind... any time I'd be walking in the hallway and I'd be seeing people do their jobs (secretary, other teachers, principal, etc.), I would think, "How can I do something for them?"...But what usually went through my head with it... was, "How can I do a RAoK!? I am so swamped right now!? I have to make sure that Sergio isn't acting out, that Francis is okay, that Nelzy is learning, etc." Even when the school day ended.. I was in a good mood, but definitely swamped with work. Finally.. I saw you online and I wrote that line: "dude.... finding a random act of kindness... just during the day.. is ridiculously difficult.."
Right when I sent that... I looked at the mess in my room, and went to go look for the custodian.. well, more specifically, went to look for her broom. I found her broom, but didn't find her. I took the broom and left a note there on a post-it "I took the broom upstairs. - Raj". Then, I went up and swept my room, and returned the broom... the note was still there, so I don't think she saw it. So, I returned the broom, took the note back, and returned to my room. The whole thing took me about 20 minutes... I don't think the custodian saw the note. Later on, she came to my room to do the clean-up, and I was still working there... she saw the room and was like, "Oh, you had the kids clean the room?" And I just said, "Yeah." So.. she said, "That's great.. then I can mop today."
Usually, she only sweeps... and mops very rarely... but... she couldn't handle having less work to do.... and so she brought in the mop. In the end, I didn't really save her work then.... but I definitely connected with her.
3) Paying the Toll
I was headed to my sister's place in SF on Tuesday.... and when I crossed the bridge... I paid the toll for the car behind me. I've done it many times before... and basically on this day (Tuesday), I realized that I hadn't done my RAoK for the day... and this was an 'easy' way to do one.
I do like this act... because I'm sure it makes the person in that car think... I'm sure that the ripples must be felt somewhere else... and it is totally anonymous... I never see the reaction on the other's face so I'm not doing it for the personal satisfaction... I'm just doing.
4) Homeless Meal
It was Wednesday.. and I was driving home from school. Still, throughout the day... I had this feeling of... "gotta do a RAoK, gotta do a RAoK".... but... during the school day.. it's just really overwhelming with so many things on the mind. That's one thing I've definitely realized... that I need a clear, still mind to be able to see and do RAoK. I can be actively busy... but I can't be mentally busy.. mentally worried... then... other things always take precedent.
So... driving home... I take the exit... and while I'm stopped at the light, I see a homeless man with a sign "Hungry, please help" or something like that... and I'm thinking, "Oh... RAoK"... BUT, I was in the lane that goes straight, and he was next to the left turn lane. I went straight, made a U-Turn, got back on the freeway, turned around again, took the exit again, and got in the left turn lane. I was about the 4th car at the red light.. the light turned green, I pulled up the man, and tried to pull the side... I stopped there... and the guy approached me... as the cars honked behind me.. I asked him if he was hungry and wanted to grab a meal. He seemed a little surprised, but said yes.... I told him to get in the back seat and that we'd go to subway. And he got in.
We started having conversation.. starting with small talk... where he stayed, etc. After a couple minutes, I already felt connected to him... I asked, "How did you become homeless? Are you homeless by choice?"
And this lead to one of the most amazing, unexpected conversations that I've had... from spirituality, to Krishnamurti, to wasting food, to utilizing resources, to gratefulness, to Karma Yoga, to living simply, to damaging the Earth, to freedom..... it was really amazing. Finally, when we were done... I said, I want to give you my number, in case you ever want to talk or need anything. Neither of us had paper and pen, so we went back to the car... I gave him my number. I asked him if he wanted to be dropped off anywhere... he said he was fine there. We hugged and parted ways.
It was unbelievable... and really at that moment... I felt, "Wow.. how many of these opportunities must I pass up on a daily basis? Each person I cross is an opportunity..."
5) Apple and "Everyday I get to Change the World"
On Thursday, I ended up not directly doing anything... but after school... I bought about 30 apples and wrote up the following note....
On one side in large letters so people could hang it up somewhere:
"Everyday, I get up to change the world."
On the other side:
" "Hm.. I thought I had the file but I can't find it. Basically, the other side said something like, "Thank you for the amazing job you do at this school. Every action you take is for these students and make their lives better." But it was a bit longer and more eloquent.
I got to school early... and anonymously left one apple and one note in EACH staff members' box. It was fun during the day to see staff members eating their apple.... to see the secretary put up the sign "Everyday, I Get Up to Change the World" in the office for everyone to see as they walk in."
The best was... days and even weeks later... I would walk into another classroom, and I would see the sign posted on the whiteboard.. seeming like it was talked about in class.... I would see the sign posted teacher's desk.... in an administrator's office..... And, I think... these small acts... these small creative acts... that don't take much effort... no one can tell where the ripples end... if the ripples end.....
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Activity #5 - Homeless Shelter
So.. I'm in Chicago right now and we're about to do our next activity.... volunteering at a homeless shelter. The idea for this started when we did the V-day service activity and when we shared a meal and learned the story of a person without a home. I thought... like one end... is personally understanding the stories and connecting with the actual people who are in this situation. It's humanizing the situation. The other end... is what services are out there for these people? Public services and private charities. Now, I'm sure that there must be sooo many different types of services out there... from Church-run to city-run.... from shelters to soup kitchens to holistic development, etc. But, we thought that let's go volunteer at some type of place that serves the homeless population... continue to connect with people there (because that's what we do), but also learn about the services.
So, today... we helping to cook and serve a meal at Hope House of Chicago
So, here are some reflection questions after the activity:
1) What did you learn about services that are available to homeless? Specifically, what services are provided by Hope House?
2) What is your opinion on how these services support the homeless population?
3) Personal thoughts/connections/stories from the day / etc.
Astha:
1) Whenever I think of this activity, it starts with a laugh because we went in thinking that we were doing one thing and ended up doing something completely different. I'll come back to that...we learned about the services that Hope House offers from Tiffany, who is a business administrator there. Basically, Hope House serves as a transitional residence for about 100 men. Men that are ex-convicts or without means come to stay here and slowly with the shelter's help are able to move from dormitory style housing to a single room residence to the end goal of having a place of their own. It also serves as an overnight shelter for another 100 or so men during the winter months. From what I remember, Tiffany said that two to three meals are provided per day for the residents. Various life skills are taught here to help get these men back into society such as resume building, interview skills, help with searching for jobs, etc. Some men help at the shelter as well. I think some healthcare services are provided especially when entering the facility. Counseling for addictions is also available. This shelter is affiliated with another organization (i'm forgetting the name right now) that serves the Lawndale community. It seemed that both orgs did the same thing but were made separate for logistical purposes. The shelter is religiously affiliated and was started by a pastor - Dr. Lincoln Scott. There is a church that is nearby and many of the testimonials by the residents include finding peace through the Bible and Dr. Scott's preaching.
2) I think that we can both agree that being homeless involves a day to day struggle for the basic necessities of life after having gone through the day of service, our individual meals with Larry and Kevin, and our own prior experiences with the homeless. Any organization that dedicates itself to trying to reduce this huge disparity in any way has my respect. I think on paper the approach that Hope House of Chicago takes comes with good intentions. The end goal is to have these men functioning and supporting themselves after they leave the shelter. By slowly letting them work their way up with help in finding a job, giving them responsibilities within the shelter, and spiritual support, I would assume they build the confidence to face challenges on their own. What I like is that their goal is not only to hand out shelter and food but provide the services that will give them the skills to step back into "society." However, because of the mix up, we were unable to see what happens in reality for the residents of the shelter. Also, my step by step vision could be completely naive and in reality these men may get some temporary relief but fall back into the same cycle of homelessness, addictions, and prejudice that have all played a role in their lives before. I wonder how hard it is to get any sort of job once you have been in jail. We weren't able to find out the types of jobs that the residents do end up getting. All in all it sounds great. It appears to be looking at the underlying issues that are playing a role in the homelessness but because we didn't actually get to talk to the people that lived there...I'm not sure of their success rates.
3)
-First and foremost I loved meeting Tiffany. She totally welcomed us in even though she had no idea who we were and no one told her anything. She totally reminded me of you with a million and one things going on at once. I knew you knew how she felt in that room as she was trying to find one thing, answer the phone the next second, talk to another person the next and so on...:) I felt like we were sharing both ways...her telling about her personal connection to the shelter and us telling her about us. She was soo warm and you could see the passion she had for Hope House. Her dedication was inspiring.
-We go in thinking we're going to be cooking and we end up writing grants!!! How funny! Mind you, we don't know much about Hope House at all up until this point. I didn't feel too successful in the the things I worked on and wondered about the utility of it for Tiffany. It was really entertaining you type away at the Bank of America grant. That will stay with me. And the powerful speech you wrote...in these times where hope rings from the white house to....hahahahahaha. I love it! Overall it was good to be thrown off and do something that isn't our natural comfort zone.
-As I said above, we didn't get to interact too much with the residents of the shelter. We talked to the guy that answered the phone for a bit. He was chilling and answering the phone. It felt a little chaotic in there with no water initially, then it overflowing in the hallway. From what I did see of the people that were there, it just stuck out to me that everyone was black. I mean time and time again we see that in these settings the number of black people are always the most predominant. Males in general are also more common but this time it could be because its a male transitional center. I mean my lingering thought is always that even some 200 years after slavery has been abolished, this disparity between black and white exist. I always end up thinking where does it start for each individual? What homes were they raised in? Did they have someone to love them? Were they given the proper guidance and nurturing in school that would allow them to learn the way they learn best? What went wrong? Who do we blame and does that ever actually accomplish anything? I can never really find answers to any of these questions but the goal is to try to keep understanding what structures are in place that make this happen.
-Some observations about Lawndale...it is a noticeable change when you get to the area. Seemed very desolate and run down. Not going to add more but main point that you noticed a difference in the environment and the thought that the overall picture is linked in so many ways.
-Finally, it felt very natural sharing this experience with you. I feel like we work off each other's weaknesses and strengths and that is a nice feeling to have.
Raj:
I'm not too excited to write this entry... because while I loved how the day turned out, and how I definitely felt that we connected with Tiffany... I feel like everything we learned, we didn't learn it through experience or interaction with those that are actually being served by the organization. Rather, we learned things through our interaction with Tiffany and through their website, etc. Soo.. I don't feel that I have any new insights into this issue.
1) What did you learn about services that are available to homeless? Specifically, what services are provided by Hope House?
I did cheat and I read Astha's reply before writing my own... soo, I don't have much to add to this question.
Hope House provides nightly meals, a drop-in night shelter during the winter, and a more permanent place to see for those on the road to recovery. I think the key is that they are thinking about how to get folks who live on the streets back on their feet and able to help themselves. Now.. are they actually successful doing so, or not? I don't know. Do they actually have programs that are running and successful, I don't know. It seems like finances are a struggle.. and because finances are a struggle.. it seems like having a sustainable, reliable work-force is also a struggle.
2) What is your opinion on how these services support the homeless population?
Hmm.. sorry.. I guess I already got into my opinion above. I think that the focus should definitely NOT be on just temporary band-aids (meals, place to sleep, etc.)... however.. I definitely think this is needed as well.. because these are human beings' basic needs. Hmm.. I guess I see it as a three-fold process:
1 - Providing for basic physical needs for a temporary amount of time - food, shelter, water, clothing.
2 - Support and training so those who have ended up on the streets can get the skills and etiquette needed to get back on their feet, financially. Along with that, financial training - how to save money, etc... are great additions.
3 - A sense of purpose and meaning. This last portion, I believe, is what is often lacking. Some say that first people must be fed and clothed before they can address their spiritual needs. I don't agree... I think all three of these things must be done concurrently. From my few interactions with individuals who live on the streets.... I see a deep desire for a purposeful life. I actually believe that many of them at various points of their life could have gotten jobs if they really wanted it.... but... something else was missing. A deeper sense of purpose was missing.
Now, for each person... what satisfies this sense of purpose and meaning may be different. I think a common thread for most people is relationship. So... how can we, as a society, help relate/connect to those people that may not have any relationships to fall back on? Another common thread that I've seen amongst the homeless I've interacted with... is that they don't have relationships that they can fall back on.... and because of that, often they create a network among others on the streets.
I am just thinking aloud here... but I think that this portion is what draws me to India.. is what drew me to the organizations that I felt the closest to... Manav Sadhna, SIDH, Manzil Jamghat, etc... because they weren't orgs that just provided services... but they also were all about... this search for purpose... not only for the "servers" but for the "served" as well. And that's why... that line between the "served" and "servers" becomes blurred.
Usually... the 'servers' are doing it because they feel like they want to fulfill this sense of purpose (like Tiffany) but often fail to realize that those that they are serving also have this same desire for meaning...
3) Personal thoughts/connections/stories from the day / etc.
Of course... it was quite interesting how things turned out. Like Astha said... we got there and totally connected with Tiffany... she was scrambled... and probably had 101 things on her plate to do.... one of those orgs where the labor isn't divided.. and the few dedicated people do everything. I love these orgs. =) haha... If I lived in this area... just because of Tiffany's warmth and the GENUINE feeling I got from her... this is an org/place that I could see myself meshing with.
While our cooking and serving a meal plan fell through.... we did end up going to Rush Med. School and doing a little bit of grant-writing for Hope House and Tiffany. It was one of those things... where... we were trying to do SOMETHING that would help her/them out... but... I just felt... like, damn.. if I had more time to dedicate to this, I would definitely do so... but... my plate... is already overflowing... and spilling on to the floor, I feel.
It was awesome seeing Vishal Kamani... and what struck me about our conversations with him... was how many times he said, "well, it's meant to be." I don't know if I believe in destiny like that... because I believe so strongly in free will....
Are you and I meant to be? Was it meant to be to not cook and serve that day... so I could see Rush... so we could grant-write... so we could meet Kamani?
Does everything happen for a reason?
I'll leave these unanswered... because I feel that I can argue both sides of these coins...
And like you said.... our time with Tiffany... conversing with her... I felt completely at ease with you. And even our dinner with Vishal... and even our time with Pritesh... and at the bar that night with Pritesh and Sangeeta..... I feel like not only do we make a great team interacting with each other... but we make an unbelievable team when we're interacting with others.
So, today... we helping to cook and serve a meal at Hope House of Chicago
So, here are some reflection questions after the activity:
1) What did you learn about services that are available to homeless? Specifically, what services are provided by Hope House?
2) What is your opinion on how these services support the homeless population?
3) Personal thoughts/connections/stories from the day / etc.
Astha:
1) Whenever I think of this activity, it starts with a laugh because we went in thinking that we were doing one thing and ended up doing something completely different. I'll come back to that...we learned about the services that Hope House offers from Tiffany, who is a business administrator there. Basically, Hope House serves as a transitional residence for about 100 men. Men that are ex-convicts or without means come to stay here and slowly with the shelter's help are able to move from dormitory style housing to a single room residence to the end goal of having a place of their own. It also serves as an overnight shelter for another 100 or so men during the winter months. From what I remember, Tiffany said that two to three meals are provided per day for the residents. Various life skills are taught here to help get these men back into society such as resume building, interview skills, help with searching for jobs, etc. Some men help at the shelter as well. I think some healthcare services are provided especially when entering the facility. Counseling for addictions is also available. This shelter is affiliated with another organization (i'm forgetting the name right now) that serves the Lawndale community. It seemed that both orgs did the same thing but were made separate for logistical purposes. The shelter is religiously affiliated and was started by a pastor - Dr. Lincoln Scott. There is a church that is nearby and many of the testimonials by the residents include finding peace through the Bible and Dr. Scott's preaching.
2) I think that we can both agree that being homeless involves a day to day struggle for the basic necessities of life after having gone through the day of service, our individual meals with Larry and Kevin, and our own prior experiences with the homeless. Any organization that dedicates itself to trying to reduce this huge disparity in any way has my respect. I think on paper the approach that Hope House of Chicago takes comes with good intentions. The end goal is to have these men functioning and supporting themselves after they leave the shelter. By slowly letting them work their way up with help in finding a job, giving them responsibilities within the shelter, and spiritual support, I would assume they build the confidence to face challenges on their own. What I like is that their goal is not only to hand out shelter and food but provide the services that will give them the skills to step back into "society." However, because of the mix up, we were unable to see what happens in reality for the residents of the shelter. Also, my step by step vision could be completely naive and in reality these men may get some temporary relief but fall back into the same cycle of homelessness, addictions, and prejudice that have all played a role in their lives before. I wonder how hard it is to get any sort of job once you have been in jail. We weren't able to find out the types of jobs that the residents do end up getting. All in all it sounds great. It appears to be looking at the underlying issues that are playing a role in the homelessness but because we didn't actually get to talk to the people that lived there...I'm not sure of their success rates.
3)
-First and foremost I loved meeting Tiffany. She totally welcomed us in even though she had no idea who we were and no one told her anything. She totally reminded me of you with a million and one things going on at once. I knew you knew how she felt in that room as she was trying to find one thing, answer the phone the next second, talk to another person the next and so on...:) I felt like we were sharing both ways...her telling about her personal connection to the shelter and us telling her about us. She was soo warm and you could see the passion she had for Hope House. Her dedication was inspiring.
-We go in thinking we're going to be cooking and we end up writing grants!!! How funny! Mind you, we don't know much about Hope House at all up until this point. I didn't feel too successful in the the things I worked on and wondered about the utility of it for Tiffany. It was really entertaining you type away at the Bank of America grant. That will stay with me. And the powerful speech you wrote...in these times where hope rings from the white house to....hahahahahaha. I love it! Overall it was good to be thrown off and do something that isn't our natural comfort zone.
-As I said above, we didn't get to interact too much with the residents of the shelter. We talked to the guy that answered the phone for a bit. He was chilling and answering the phone. It felt a little chaotic in there with no water initially, then it overflowing in the hallway. From what I did see of the people that were there, it just stuck out to me that everyone was black. I mean time and time again we see that in these settings the number of black people are always the most predominant. Males in general are also more common but this time it could be because its a male transitional center. I mean my lingering thought is always that even some 200 years after slavery has been abolished, this disparity between black and white exist. I always end up thinking where does it start for each individual? What homes were they raised in? Did they have someone to love them? Were they given the proper guidance and nurturing in school that would allow them to learn the way they learn best? What went wrong? Who do we blame and does that ever actually accomplish anything? I can never really find answers to any of these questions but the goal is to try to keep understanding what structures are in place that make this happen.
-Some observations about Lawndale...it is a noticeable change when you get to the area. Seemed very desolate and run down. Not going to add more but main point that you noticed a difference in the environment and the thought that the overall picture is linked in so many ways.
-Finally, it felt very natural sharing this experience with you. I feel like we work off each other's weaknesses and strengths and that is a nice feeling to have.
Raj:
I'm not too excited to write this entry... because while I loved how the day turned out, and how I definitely felt that we connected with Tiffany... I feel like everything we learned, we didn't learn it through experience or interaction with those that are actually being served by the organization. Rather, we learned things through our interaction with Tiffany and through their website, etc. Soo.. I don't feel that I have any new insights into this issue.
1) What did you learn about services that are available to homeless? Specifically, what services are provided by Hope House?
I did cheat and I read Astha's reply before writing my own... soo, I don't have much to add to this question.
Hope House provides nightly meals, a drop-in night shelter during the winter, and a more permanent place to see for those on the road to recovery. I think the key is that they are thinking about how to get folks who live on the streets back on their feet and able to help themselves. Now.. are they actually successful doing so, or not? I don't know. Do they actually have programs that are running and successful, I don't know. It seems like finances are a struggle.. and because finances are a struggle.. it seems like having a sustainable, reliable work-force is also a struggle.
2) What is your opinion on how these services support the homeless population?
Hmm.. sorry.. I guess I already got into my opinion above. I think that the focus should definitely NOT be on just temporary band-aids (meals, place to sleep, etc.)... however.. I definitely think this is needed as well.. because these are human beings' basic needs. Hmm.. I guess I see it as a three-fold process:
1 - Providing for basic physical needs for a temporary amount of time - food, shelter, water, clothing.
2 - Support and training so those who have ended up on the streets can get the skills and etiquette needed to get back on their feet, financially. Along with that, financial training - how to save money, etc... are great additions.
3 - A sense of purpose and meaning. This last portion, I believe, is what is often lacking. Some say that first people must be fed and clothed before they can address their spiritual needs. I don't agree... I think all three of these things must be done concurrently. From my few interactions with individuals who live on the streets.... I see a deep desire for a purposeful life. I actually believe that many of them at various points of their life could have gotten jobs if they really wanted it.... but... something else was missing. A deeper sense of purpose was missing.
Now, for each person... what satisfies this sense of purpose and meaning may be different. I think a common thread for most people is relationship. So... how can we, as a society, help relate/connect to those people that may not have any relationships to fall back on? Another common thread that I've seen amongst the homeless I've interacted with... is that they don't have relationships that they can fall back on.... and because of that, often they create a network among others on the streets.
I am just thinking aloud here... but I think that this portion is what draws me to India.. is what drew me to the organizations that I felt the closest to... Manav Sadhna, SIDH, Manzil Jamghat, etc... because they weren't orgs that just provided services... but they also were all about... this search for purpose... not only for the "servers" but for the "served" as well. And that's why... that line between the "served" and "servers" becomes blurred.
Usually... the 'servers' are doing it because they feel like they want to fulfill this sense of purpose (like Tiffany) but often fail to realize that those that they are serving also have this same desire for meaning...
3) Personal thoughts/connections/stories from the day / etc.
Of course... it was quite interesting how things turned out. Like Astha said... we got there and totally connected with Tiffany... she was scrambled... and probably had 101 things on her plate to do.... one of those orgs where the labor isn't divided.. and the few dedicated people do everything. I love these orgs. =) haha... If I lived in this area... just because of Tiffany's warmth and the GENUINE feeling I got from her... this is an org/place that I could see myself meshing with.
While our cooking and serving a meal plan fell through.... we did end up going to Rush Med. School and doing a little bit of grant-writing for Hope House and Tiffany. It was one of those things... where... we were trying to do SOMETHING that would help her/them out... but... I just felt... like, damn.. if I had more time to dedicate to this, I would definitely do so... but... my plate... is already overflowing... and spilling on to the floor, I feel.
It was awesome seeing Vishal Kamani... and what struck me about our conversations with him... was how many times he said, "well, it's meant to be." I don't know if I believe in destiny like that... because I believe so strongly in free will....
Are you and I meant to be? Was it meant to be to not cook and serve that day... so I could see Rush... so we could grant-write... so we could meet Kamani?
Does everything happen for a reason?
I'll leave these unanswered... because I feel that I can argue both sides of these coins...
And like you said.... our time with Tiffany... conversing with her... I felt completely at ease with you. And even our dinner with Vishal... and even our time with Pritesh... and at the bar that night with Pritesh and Sangeeta..... I feel like not only do we make a great team interacting with each other... but we make an unbelievable team when we're interacting with others.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Activity #4: Where I'm From
This next activity originated as an assignment to your class and now is going to be done on this blog. :) The focus of this one is more of a get to know each other better and find out about the people, memories, and things we associate with that make us who we are. There is already a blog of all the kids' poems up on http://ascend0809.wordpress.com/. The task is to create a Where I'm From poem using the template below as a guideline. Feel free to add or delete any part as you see fit. What is the phrase I am looking for here...artistic creativity...that is not it but you know what I mean. You can add pictures that you think go along with the poem as well. Have fun with it and be creative!
I am from (where were your parents from),
From (where did you live before),
And from (where do you live now).
I am from ___(describe your home and/or neighborhood)____
With ___(describe an item in your house),(describe another item), and ___ (describe another item)___
___(describe important family members or you can describe just one)____ .
I am from ___(describe a family tradition or just things you do with your family)___
From ___(something that represents your religion or beliefs)___
From ____(2 or 3 adjectives that describe your family)____
I am from _(one of your favorite foods at home)__, and ___(one of the most common foods you eat)
I am from __ (words or phrases that you hear often or heard often when you were younger)____
From ___(describe songs that you sing or listen to)_______
I am from ____(describe a big celebration that you’ve been a part of)_____
From ___(describe games, activities and/or sports you play or played when you were younger)____
I am from ___(describe plants, flowers, animals, or something natural that’s important
to you)_______
I am from ____(your wish for the world OR whatever’s MOST important to you – only 1 or 2 words)____
Astha:
Raj:
Where I'm From
I am from the past that has made me who I am,
To the present of constant action, reflection, and learning
And to the future with you that holds electric potential.
I am from Sanakhdaa gaam in Saurasthra,
From the Bay Area and UCLA,
And one day from the community that I work with and am immersed in.
I am from from playing Tetris with Ams till 1 am.
To endless hours of raas and garba,
And to the infamous Boodissy sleepovers and Truth-or-Dare.
I am from deciding between football or Swadhyay on Sundays.
And from family parties with blue tarps.
I am from, “Swadhyay maa jaa” to “Vaasan karo” to “Chokri sodho” to “Paisa nathi kamaavaa?”
I am from a lifetime of self-study (Swadhyay) and the desire to live more consciously.
I am from searching – traveling India, Vipassana, Jeevan Vidya.
I am from activities/responsibilitires - UCLA ISU, Raas Team, SIDH, InSPIRE, Educating.
I am a part of US =)
I am from dance, hope, nature, understanding, and harmony.
I am from (where were your parents from),
From (where did you live before),
And from (where do you live now).
I am from ___(describe your home and/or neighborhood)____
With ___(describe an item in your house),(describe another item), and ___ (describe another item)___
___(describe important family members or you can describe just one)____ .
I am from ___(describe a family tradition or just things you do with your family)___
From ___(something that represents your religion or beliefs)___
From ____(2 or 3 adjectives that describe your family)____
I am from _(one of your favorite foods at home)__, and ___(one of the most common foods you eat)
I am from __ (words or phrases that you hear often or heard often when you were younger)____
From ___(describe songs that you sing or listen to)_______
I am from ____(describe a big celebration that you’ve been a part of)_____
From ___(describe games, activities and/or sports you play or played when you were younger)____
I am from ___(describe plants, flowers, animals, or something natural that’s important
to you)_______I am from ____(your wish for the world OR whatever’s MOST important to you – only 1 or 2 words)____
Astha:
Where I'm From
I am from the small town of Pilibhit, UP and the big town of New Delhi, Delhi,
From a variety of locations dispersed throughout India and Illinois,
And currently from the streets of Naperthrill, IL.
I am from a house that by itself holds no special meaning for me
But the house holds the people that matter most to me.
A brother that I like to call fatty :).
I am from playing rummy and Saturday morning breakfasts
From a powerful faith in the innate goodness of people,
And from a strong work ethic and lots of love and laughter.
I am from way too many favorite foods and my default meal, maggi,
I am from "You're going to work at Jewel the rest of your life!"
From the latest Bollywood song.
I am from the Chicago Marathon,
From rollerskating in the basement and building Knex rollercoasters.
I am part of US :)
I am from HAPPINESS among people.
Raj:
Where I'm From
I am from the past that has made me who I am,
To the present of constant action, reflection, and learning
And to the future with you that holds electric potential.
I am from Sanakhdaa gaam in Saurasthra,
From the Bay Area and UCLA,
And one day from the community that I work with and am immersed in.
I am from from playing Tetris with Ams till 1 am.
To endless hours of raas and garba,
And to the infamous Boodissy sleepovers and Truth-or-Dare.
I am from deciding between football or Swadhyay on Sundays.
And from family parties with blue tarps.
I am from, “Swadhyay maa jaa” to “Vaasan karo” to “Chokri sodho” to “Paisa nathi kamaavaa?”
I am from a lifetime of self-study (Swadhyay) and the desire to live more consciously.
I am from searching – traveling India, Vipassana, Jeevan Vidya.
I am from activities/responsibilitires - UCLA ISU, Raas Team, SIDH, InSPIRE, Educating.
I am a part of US =)
I am from dance, hope, nature, understanding, and harmony.
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