Natural Learning #1

Prairie Creek Redwoods State Park

The three of us are spending pretty much every minute together... so of course there are recurring arguments and spats, so we’ve tried to implement a daily morning family meeting. I think we’ve had three so far. 

And it’s just interesting to see how Amaani responds to it. We’ve done “family meetings” in the past.... but it’s usually when we (the parents) want to discuss something with her (the child)... sleep time, eating habits, language/tone she’s using, etc.  And she knows it... so her initial response was like “boring”. A couple of things may have changed (and I’m sure things will continue to change because that is the only constant)... but for now, she seems to buy into it more. What changed? 1) She personalized it by depersonalizing it. Amaani struggles (like me) with talking about her feelings and accepting responsibility. However, when she speaks to or through her LOL’s (these little dolls) she’s able to talk about her feelings and opinions more. So, she suggested that the LOL’s are part of the meeting and have one of them actually facilitate the meeting. We started that yesterday and it was fun... and a good time for sharing and we were able to discuss situations that we were having disagreements about. 

When I asked her if humans can take turns facilitating the meeting, too, she said (via an Valley B.B., an LOL), “No, humans have problems... when we get mad, we just say sorry and forget.” (I’m paraphrasing.) I asked if that’s what we humans should do, too... and she just responded with a “No.” (I think she KNOWS it’s easier said than done!)

2) The meetings are regular... so now they are not only when we need to discuss a concern or something. I believe that changes the dynamic. 

3) She’s starting to realize that she can bring her concerns to the meeting... for example, how many time Astha reads Harry Potter to her per day and for how long. Amaani LOVES listening to Harry Potter and Astha enjoys reading it to her, but she can’t read it allll the time and on demand whenever Amaani wants. Initially, we laid the ground rules - twice per day, once during rest time in the afternoon and once before bed. That didn’t go over with Amaani... so we discussed it at the family meeting... Amaani wanted to call an emergency meeting about it the night before but we said she’d have to wait until morning.

With Yin B.B. as the facilitator, we came to a fair compromise regarding Harry Potter. Now... remembering that change is the only constant, we will see how long it lasts.

My thoughts... 1) These meetings help our communication because there is a set time for it and it’s set aside every day.  2) Is it too schoolish? We take turns sharing about our favorite moments from the day before, etc. It’s not “natural” conversation in some ways... maybe if we name it something other than “family meeting”. I dunno...  

As I've mentioned... this is Amaani's kinder year, but we've chosen to allow her to continue to naturally learn. 

What is she learning? The minute I try to pinpoint the skills she’s learning and “measure” her learning... I’m making it “schoolish”... but for the sake of our “schoolish” minds... 

Through family meetings, she’s learning conflict resolution, she’s learning to identify emotions, she’s learning to problem solve, she’s learning verbal communication...

Through listening to Harry Potter (she’s on Book 6), she’s learning to love books, she’s learning so much vocabulary, she’s learning story arc and many other features of literature, she’s learning reading comprehension...

Through camping and being outdoors and this journey, she’s learning about overcoming challenges, she’s learning how to respond to change, she’s learning about the natural world (for example, she observed Roosevelt Elk for about 30-45 minutes... we saw the males defend their harem through screaming and charging, we saw them eating, we saw them having sex... yes, really, we saw a momma nurse her child in the middle of the street...), she’s learning how to do dishes and wash clothes by hand....

I could go on and on... and once again... I want to identify our privilege in being able to go on a journey like this and provide these types of experiences. However, I will argue that more of us could do these types of things... if our own minds were flexible enough, if we overcame some of the fears we have... There are soooo many rich life experiences that we provide our children all the time and could do more of... 

Till next time. 

(Our Family Meeting today was... interesting. Amaani was excited about it, and..... it became imaginative LOL play time, not really the "family meeting" we parents had in mind! I may have added to the madness... it was fun... but not “productive”. We still talked about everything we needed to talk about in the morning... but maybe not at family meeting...There was a slight urge in me to tell Amaani she needs to listen during family meeting and play afterwards and all that schoolish stuff... but then I caught myself.)