We were nervous about flying and trying to figure out the best way to keep my dad protected in case we got coronavirus. The plan was to self-quarantine at my dad's house in Naperville for 4 days and then I get tested and then Arpit/fam and my dad all come back to Naperville and we become our own bubble. The flight ended up being empty and we felt pretty safe but still followed through with the plan. It was weird coming to Naperville and not seeing people right away. Chicago trips have always been about maximizing family/friend time. I let people know and then set dates and times to see people. It was weird to come home to an empty house. My mom's absence in the picture always hits hard and is forever there in the background. It was peaceful in a sense because up until then we had been non stop go go go but there were waves of unease. It was what it was though and we rolled with the situation at hand. We started our daily tradition of going to the pool in my dad's community. My dad had gotten Amaani a bike that he borrowed from a friend. She got into that. I got tested and that was a process in itself but I tested negative! Yay! My dad is a cute man and said ok I'm going to leave Chicago and head on over.
Time in Chicago is always funny for me. I love seeing family and friends but it also triggers the too much idle time reaction in me. My dad lives in a big house in the suburbs and it's so different than Oakland life. This home is the home I grew up in. There was definitely a theme of waves of being ok in the present moment and waves of what am I/we doing in life? Raj said something on one of our walks that helped put things in perspective that I'm carrying with me for the rest of this year. He said that this year is like a much longer first 10 day Vipassana. Each day is going to be different. You think you got the hang of things but then BAM, something else will come up and you have to sit with that. In hindsight, it was an amazing trip. We got some amazing time with my family. Arpit, Sam and Bodhi (and Otis, their dog) stayed in the house with us the whole time. The house was full and busy. My dad wasn't alone and had things to keep his mind distracted. Bodhi, my nephew, is the cutest and Amaani was in love with him. My brother and sister-in-law were still working during the week so we would take turns watching Bodhi. The days passed with watching Avatar, the Last Airbender, Bodhi time, pool time, biking, running, reading and meals. Mixed in were conversations about our plan in life and where we are going after Chicago. I was getting our Overseas Citizenship of India paperwork done (such an annoying process) in the hope that at some point we will still make it to India.
Planning social visits was strange this time. In reflection, I think partially I got used to quarantine mode a bit. I still love seeing people and we didn't stay isolated in Oakland either, but it became a little more normal to not fill the calendar with anything because we couldn't. Usually there's a checklist of seeing my girls and catching up with them. Then I also reach out to family friends - the aunties and uncles. It helps me feel close to my mom and it's nice seeing them. Then their kids (who aren't kids anymore but will forever be seen as that). This time, I didn't do all of that. The thought of coronavirus risk and exposing people kept popping up and the day somehow filled up quickly. Given the situation, happy that we got to see some people at least and still bummed that Nithya and I couldn't catch up. Amaani became buddies with Riya and Nala (one of my best friend's kids). I'll put some pics up on this post but more photos of the Chicago time can be found here.
Arpit and Sam ended up renting an AirBNB in Friendship, Wisconsin for a week during our trip. It was a cute little house and it was a great getaway. We went hiking in Roche-A-Cri State park. There were so many frogs there! We took Bodhi along one day and then Sam and Arpit came a second time. We rented a pontoon boat and spent the day on a lake. Amaani, Raj and I rented kayaks one day in Wisconsin Dells area. I ran a lot. We planned our meals and ate some good food. I also saw the Trump signs everywhere and we observed people not really caring about masks, etc. Photos here.
In the midst of all this, Raj and I were figuring out next steps. The thought was that we'll head back, get settled and then head out on the road for a month of camping around California. We had a backpacking trip planned in Point Reyes. Raj had a speadsheet of the various campsites and route planned. Big Basin was booked. News of all the fires in California started coming though. The Wood fire affected Point Reyes and it seemed that was going to be cancelled. Big Basin completely burned. We reached yet another decision tree point and were debating between heading back or extending our Chicago trip. We decided the latter as Bodhi was having a surgery and California was burning. We ended up getting in a camping trip with just us 3 to Kettle Moraine State Park. We were able to help the family out with Bodhi's care post op and he did great!
Also, another innocent Black man, Jacob Blake, was shot in the back 7 times in Kenosha, Wisconsin. The inequality, injustice and persistence of institutionalized racism are thoughts I sit with a lot. There is a background knowledge that in all of our musings, there is such PRIVILEGE. The fact that we have options to escape the fires. To take breaks from life in Oakland. To take this year and step away. Raj and I debated this for a long time before coming to the decision to step away this year. The hope was to go inward and focus on self-care and growth to be able to continue to be present with love, kindness and compassion in our community. But as the universe feels like it is ending and the consequences of ongoing Capitalism and Earth destruction are playing out, the question on should we throw ourselves back in the fight always comes up. To just listen to the news and not do something doesn't feel right. That will probably be another entry in it of itself.
We ended up heading back on September 3rd. The plan in our mind was to buy a car, and now instead of camping around California, we were to head more north and make our way to a friend living up in Sequim, Washington. At the time of writing this, things have changed again but will save that for a future post. At the end of the Chicago trip, I was grateful for the time we got to spend with family, the friends we did get to see, the time for reflection and sitting with unknown. The bigger life questions in how do we live harmoniously with each other and our Earth still remain. Sadness, anger, frustration at the ongoing craziness of life.
I want to dedicate a quick paragraph to the books I read during this time. A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki - a friend passed it on. Initially it was depressing and a bit triggering for me but ended up being good and I would recommend it. The Wedding Date by Jasmine Guillory. Eh on this one, was good in the beginning and then got redundant. Slay by Brittney Morris, I really liked this one. On the Come Up by Angie Thomas - excellent as well. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (The Hunger Games prequel) - definitely got into it. It's the backstory of Snow. My goal is 30 books for this year. I'm at 20 right now. 10 more to go!
-Astha
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